Monday, March 31, 2014
His Problem
"There's nothing there." He doesn't put righteousness in his life. He just expects people to catch on, my dad.
Problem
Why am -I- always wrong? Why should I connect the dots to the order of events I did for that?
Problem
Even if I knew, I was tired. It seems rather silly. What about if I was tired? It's like leaving the dishes in the sink. I woulda gotten up if I knew, but how'd I know? Maybe, I wanted to find out. As soon as possible. What if I was tired and wanted to hide my past accounts with possible copyright infringements unanswered with old pix of me attached tho? I supposed I'd'a gotten up..
Problem
They are looking at me like I'm bad as a daily basis.
Guess what..it's cuz YOU know MY race!
Guess what..it's cuz YOU know MY race!
Problem
You all are crazy trying to hurt me. I feel like I'm being stared down for something that doesn't matter.
Sick
Really, everyone shouldn't be mad. I'm not doing anything wrong now, and you all think it doesn't matter what you do cuz it's easier.
Problem
Someone is mad at me on Twitter.. I just didn't cover my playlists once, and I guess everyone went and looked at it.. I was too tired, shouldn't be shocking but guess it was. I've had to recover from things of that nature.
News..?
I did all the ironing and cleaned my whole room about. I can dance and do some gymnastics in here. I'm in the garage, but the opening is sealed.
What I'm up To
I used to look up the people on Ellen but now I'm feeling down. I Tweet them, used to read @ them all. That's like 1 class, and I'm sick-ish.
Problem
Everyone is treating me racistly when I want to be praised for how white I am. I just go for a walk and these people are all up attuned to me walking by all the time.
Apology
I didn't mean everyone in every way.
I just wanted to say what I'm not willing to trade off. I am spilling my thoughts out and feel watched so didn't say who and what. I wasn't being mean, just using words of being upset|sad. Why can't anyone get that?! Who makes these silly rules? Also, I got told so much I have schizo, so. I'm not saying you're like that.. I just feel like this is a nightmare that has to stop. Can't you see, everyone is so mean to me?! I come on all nice, and then something weird happens.
I just wanted to say what I'm not willing to trade off. I am spilling my thoughts out and feel watched so didn't say who and what. I wasn't being mean, just using words of being upset|sad. Why can't anyone get that?! Who makes these silly rules? Also, I got told so much I have schizo, so. I'm not saying you're like that.. I just feel like this is a nightmare that has to stop. Can't you see, everyone is so mean to me?! I come on all nice, and then something weird happens.
Also
You all are silly and have a superiority complex that contains imperfection. You have a 2nd life online.
Upset
I don't find the bits of sarcasm lying around amusing. People find something wrong with me all the time.. they always find something that breaks the relationship.
Problem
I don't accept that you think I did something wrong that's bad. I was just trying to fix something. I'm not a weirdo and I'm no racist. You are wrong and put down what I say and pretend something else is happening.
I don't like constantly trailing this triumph over me alas.
I don't like constantly trailing this triumph over me alas.
Problem
How will I make it in Hollywood, then? These noises and my parents make me feel like I'm being shamed for something I didn't do.
Problem
People treat me like a problem. The people in my house, my parents and the experimenters via cameras and mics.. All the time, sometimes, it seems. They want to get a message across and it's constant irritating messages, a situation from which I would have to remove myself.
Always Sassing Back
Well.. Anyway, I was thinking about why my dad keeps doing stuff to get physically intrusive. It seems as if it's to make it more comfortable for Ellen or she did it.. Like, he's done these things:
(1) affected my pooing and female cramps..
(2) affected how I pee in 2 ways
(3) stimulated my baby part
(4) when we were thinking about hair was like pointing or something @ his butt..
My dad and I are not animals that slobber over one another, and just because I find a boyfriend does not mean I get closer to him. I do not want a boyfriend necessarily, f.y.i. There are boys I have liked, but I wasn't about doing everything with them nor at that age having baby with anyone.
This never happened before and it only happens to me cuza my race. That's why I think it is not beneficial.
(1) affected my pooing and female cramps..
(2) affected how I pee in 2 ways
(3) stimulated my baby part
(4) when we were thinking about hair was like pointing or something @ his butt..
My dad and I are not animals that slobber over one another, and just because I find a boyfriend does not mean I get closer to him. I do not want a boyfriend necessarily, f.y.i. There are boys I have liked, but I wasn't about doing everything with them nor at that age having baby with anyone.
This never happened before and it only happens to me cuza my race. That's why I think it is not beneficial.
Dresses
I was thinking of getting the dresses, but it'll be a long month and so guess I will get the loungewear @ Wal-Mart, more exciting. I don't even go out that much.
TV
I just finished watching "Those Who Kill" with Chloe Sevigny. She just is really good as a detective, so caring and concerned, so outta this world like Ellen DeGeneres and like her too in so many ways..
...
I have lots of thoughts and feelings but find it hard to express. It just reminds me of the idea with Tim Burton that life was just Peter Pan. I think I really wanna go to Hollywood and go to premieres and see stars, but I like Florida best. I mean, I don't think I'm necessarily too old but in some ways I feel thay way. I just banked on other things!
...
I have lots of thoughts and feelings but find it hard to express. It just reminds me of the idea with Tim Burton that life was just Peter Pan. I think I really wanna go to Hollywood and go to premieres and see stars, but I like Florida best. I mean, I don't think I'm necessarily too old but in some ways I feel thay way. I just banked on other things!
Gooses! Geeses!
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