Dealing With Worthlessness

My parents are just pervs to me, tossing me aside like it's a daily delicacy to torture me and then get mad when I get mad and think they could get hurt like me instead cuz I ain't something to be *beep* around ^like some ideal^ pretending that's actually how I like to and pretendint that's how I think.  So, naturally, in saying I could be treated that way.. why not her get hurt but could not think how that'd be okay.  I fear that Ellen will find out I did this and actually hurt my mom in some way that upsets me.  I don't wanna deal with her *beep* and all this made up *beep*